It’s amazing when we share with women what kind of feedback we get. I love opinions when I’m asking for them, not so much when I want to be blissfully unaware of another person’s maybe not so good experiences. When I left my new gynecologist’s office with a prescription in hand for Premarin Cream I nearly skipped to the pharmacy. The hope of restoring my vagina to a more youthful version of days gone past was enough to make me smile from ear to ear. Then I told my girlfriends.
“It’s made from horse urine. How gross is that?”
“The smell is so bad you’re entire home will stink.”
“It gave me cramps.”
“I gained weight when I was using it.”
“It made me bleed. Oh, wait, that was Premarin PILLS.”
That really put a damper on things. Especially the horse urine comment. It’s funny that I had been making jokes about getting back on the horse and now there would be some parts of a horse inside my vagina. How ironic. And gross. I thought my girlfriends would cheer me on and be proud of me that I was trying to get back in the saddle. Somehow it seemed they were discouraging me instead. Why do some women do that?
I picked up the prescription and decided I was going to be the lucky one. I could open a window or light a candle if there was an odor. I wouldn’t mind a few extra pounds, especially if they want to my breasts or my ass. I even made peace with the horse pee – for god’s sake everyone knows urine is sterile! I prayed I wouldn’t get cramps. I’m going to be the lucky one this time!
I got home and sniffed the cream. NOTHING horsey or pee like at all. As a matter of fact there was no odor whatsoever. What the hell was she talking about?
I’ll let you now what happens.