Robert Redford – Not

His profile pictures looked like Robert Redford. The younger Robert Redford we know and love. We had many interests in common and he had lved in Paris, my favorite city in the world.


He was waiting for me in a nearby sushi place. From the empty plates on the small table it appeared that he had a few rolls and a sake, maybe two, while he waited for me. He sat low in the chair, his legs stretched out and resting on the window sill. I thought it was strange that he didn’t stand up when I entered the restaurant. I sat down. Although it was the first time we evere met in person, we chit chatted easily but he was a little squirrely. It became worse. He was moving around in his seat as he changed topics of conversation at lightening speed. Clearly he was smart but this guy had, as my mother would say, “ants in his pants”.

“It looks like you’ve had dinner already. Should we get out of here?”

“Lets hang here. I have to pick up a prescription around the corner.”

“Something for ADD?” I said it as a joke but I kind of meant it.

He was surprised at my question and made an awkward joke. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. After an uncomfortale silence I asked him about his dog. He was nuts about the imagesGolden Retriever puppy. He could saty focused and talk for hours about her.At 6:00 his phone pinged. The prescription was ready.

“Come with me and I’ll walk you home.”


He wrapped his grey plaid scarf around his neck. It was an older scarf, and a little scraggily – wahed too many times. He put his Parker jacket on. It had a bedraggled fake fur trim. Suddenly Robert Redford wasn’t quite as hot. He certainly was not the 5′-11″ he promised in his profile. Now, generally speaking I have no problem with men shorter than myself. In this particular case I am ashamed to say I had this man, based on his photo, profile and pedigree, on a pedestal.


Outside the pharmacy, he leaned me against the cold granite wall and kissed me. The kiss was warm and wet and tasted like sake and ginger. He was a good kisser. Taken by surprise, I was immediately turned on. He slipped his hands under my coat and began to feel for my waist. He continued to kiss me. The wall was icy and his hands were cold. The combination sent a shiver up my spine.

“Let’s go to your place?” he whispered. I thought I had misunderstood him for a moment. I had known this guy for all of 45 minutes. “Is anyone there? At your place?”

“My housekeeper.”

“Tell her to go home. You don’t need her.”

“I can’t do that! I do in fact need her. It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow and she’s scrubbing everything so the place shines ”

“Do you have a back door? Sneak me in.”

He kissed me again. This time roughly pushing me against the wall hard, jamming his hands down my pants. I was wearing boots with heels and realized how much taller I was then him. I could see the top of his head. He was getting rough. Too rough. My head hit the granite wall and I could feel his nails in my lower back pushing down into my jeans towards my ass.

“Excuse me.” a woman pushing a stroller with a couple of kids ssai. We were now blocking the entrance to the pharmacy. He dropped his arms to his side and stepped away. She smiled at me as if I was lucky to be with such a passionate man.

“I have to go,” I blurted out wipping my mouth and closing up my coat.

“No wait, I’ll come with you. I’m really having a good time. Aren’t you?”

Part 2 to follow.


1 thought on “Robert Redford – Not

  1. Pingback: Love or Material? | The V Word

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