Ciao Bello

AMALFI0815-wineSo I had my date with the handsome foreigner. I loved the club. It was all that I was expecting as far as decor and vibe. A friendlier, more colorful SOHO House. I felt like I was in a cool friends living room at a holiday party.I checked in at the front desk and the hostess was as gorgeous as I knew she would be. My date was a few minutes late but I was made to feel very welcome in the meantime. I watched as he entered the room. I was sitting across the room. He was handsome in a manly way but on the shorter side. (If I sound like I have a problem with short men, I don’t. I have dated many men under 5′-10″ and had long-term relationships with three of them. I just don’t like when people misrepresent things like height and weight. I plan my show accordingly and I’d honestly rather be in a flat or a low heel than stilettos. images-1Flag #1. Ok I get it – men tend to fib/lie about this and women often take a few pounds or years off. Move on and be positive! So what, he was charming, considerate, wearing good nothing, absolutely smart and well-traveled. Things were looking up.

I have no interest in talking about myself since I know everything there is to know about me biographically so I like to listen. Give a man enough rope and they will hang themselves is my motto. I learned of his discomfort as a student at the Sorbonne, his wife and their messy divorce “She thought I had millions more buried somewhere”, not much about his children (usually a sign that there’s a problem or relationship issues). As he blabbed I paid attention. I think thats the most important thing to do on a date – listen and learn! He then spoke of the Zimbabwe model he dated and then came the story of his second marriage. Yet another flag. They were only married “so she would be covered under my medical coverage”. She had “some health issues” which he didn’t go into detail. Nice guy or another red flag? Then he talked about his living circumstances from renting a floor in a run down brownstone in Brooklyn to his subletting a small apartment not in a very desirable area from a colleague. Oh and he brought up money and expenses too often. He never really was clear about his emotional hibernation but he was certainly painting a picture with ups and downs. I like steady and even keeled. Hmmm… Pleasant, polite, considerate but a small cloud was over his head. Would I go on a second date? Maybe I was being too harsh. I could have dinner and see what I thought. We finished up and he helped me with my coat. I heard him mumbled something about the quality of my Max Mara cashmere coat. I ignored it.mood06_ai10_101801-gall

My date gratuitously walked me to a lounge where I was meeting a friend. He gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. Yeah, maybe I would go on a second date. By the time I ordered a drink I had a new message on one of my email accounts. Mind you this is an email account I only use for business – not general business, specifically writing. It is not connected to this blog or anything else. I clicked on the link:

A Promise Kept:
Even if you never saw me again, I would be remiss if I didn’t share the experience of dining at Lo Scoglio in the small town of Nerano.  That’s a seaside village near Sorrento and Capri.  You enter it by boat.  It’s on the coast.  Food is magical and one of the most memorable dining experiences I’ve ever had.  You are literally on the sea itself and the food is amazing.  It’s part of a hotel.
lo-scoglio-delle-sirene
There are two restaurants in the village:  one is a Michelin-starred restaurant where all of the tourists go.  All of the Italians go to Lo Scoglio.  It’s run by a wonderful family (the dog is all over the place) and it’s just wonderful. We tried several dishes, all of which were superb, nothing over-embellished, just simple food made from the best ingredients, cooked really well.  Definitely a place to go with a special person. Ciao bella!
How did he get my email address? Why was he sending restaurant recommendations for the Italian Riviera? I spend more time in Fra4456.Capri-ferrynce, I’m not particularly fond of Italian food and I never expressed any interest in Italy or asked for his advice. I was weirded out. By the time I got home I had a text message and then another and then a phone call from him. So here we have it, expectation to disappointment in less time then the ferry from Sorrento to Capri.
UPDATE: The day after my blog pieces Looking Forward/ Looking Forward 2 posted I received this message from my date – Happy New Year. I hope you weren’t totally freaked out by our meeting at Norwood and had a good time in the Caribbean. I was amused at your characterisation of the build-up to the date, as I had given details of Norwood to assist, certainly not to patronise. If it came across as viewing you as “stupid”, I apologise. And I do prefer “age appropriate women” (my profile actually is 40-55, not 30*, which would be kind of creepy, I agree). Anyway, at least I wasn’t as bad as the cheapskate date, (although perhaps you were indulging in some artistic license there as well?:D )
I never gave him my blog’s name.
*This was an outright lie.

Looking Forward 2

iphone-phone-social-media-taxi-car-handbag-stocksy-w352My iPhone pinged. It was an email from my date tonight:

I’ll be waiting for you in the bar on the ground floor. When you get to the front desk, just tell them you’re with me (remember, it’s “X”, just in case you confuse me with your countless other Match dates/admirers/fans 🙂 Look forward to seeing you at 6:00pm! It’s a townhouse right next to the construction at “Y”, which is that new apartment complex. – X

I responded: I’ll write it on my hand so I don’t forget. I promise not to blow your cover. ; ) I’m quite confident I’ll be able to find the address but thanks for your help.

His reply: Love your sense of humour. BTW, cell # is 303-555-1212 in case there’s a problem. You can keep your’s a state secret until we meet and you discover that I’m not a weird stalker.

I wasn’t trying to be funny. I was annoyed. Did he think I would fuck up? Get lost? Tell the (I’m certain) gorgeous hostess that I was on a Match.com date? In a flash, I was nervous and my stomach did flip-flops. I remembered that I never had the preliminary phone call that I do with 99% of my Match.com admirers. I find this is an important step – you can learn a lot in a few minutes i.e.. nervousness, stuttering, boring, neurotics, low energy level (think Jeb Bush!), poor education, and lack of mutual interests among other things. Why didn’t I have the mandatory phone call?! Grr….I went back to read his online profile. I immediately saw a few flags I may have missed the first time because I found him handsome, intelligent, and his note so charming:2014-08-24-Redflag

“Ex-wife and sons live in another country, and ready to get out and enjoy my life again after a few years of emotional hibernation…..The truth is that I’ve always been attracted to self-confident, attractive intelligent women and I’m probably more inclined to go with someone closer to my own age, certainly someone who is closer in age to me than my two sons!. A little further down I saw a few more flags:

louis-vuitton-luggageThere are a lot of exceptional women in this city, as I am beginning to learn. I will say that women over a certain age have the charm and elegance of a great French premier cru wine, and as any wine aficionado can attest, when you’ve sampled a superbly complex older vintage, it’s very hard to go back to younger, less mature stuff.. A Portuguese vinho verde might be temporarily refreshing, but it doesn’t enliven the senses the way a great Cos D’Estournel can do. Even though I’ve made mistakes in previous relationships (we’re all human after all), I remain optimistic that I can eventually get it right with the partner who can help me unpack my considerable baggage :-).  51001e8d78458s58987

Why does his profile say he’s looking for woman 30-54 and he’s 55. Hmm… 30 doesn’t sound like his age group. If his daughters are in their mid 20s that would make 30 much closer in age to them than to him. A slightly snooty/elitist wine snob who’s coming out of “emotional hibernation with considerable baggage”? Ugh. I wondered what this one has packed away in his designer luggage? Could he simply be talking about his divorce? Something worse? Jail time, perhaps? Another felon? Mental breakdown, maybe? Manic Episode? Depressive episode?

I suddenly wasn’t looking forward to my date… but then again, this is precisely what I do before each date I go on: I try to talk myself out of the guy before I even leave my home! I pray I’m wrong this time.