The Lonely Yoni

I have a few other tricks up my sleeve while I wait the 12 weeks for the Premarin to kick in. My dear friend Tatiana had been telling me about classes she iss teaching and workshops she is hosting. They were for women — not specifically menopausal women, or even women in my age group, but I was curious. It was time to give her a call and see if she could help out.

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I’ve done yoga before with Rodney Yee and I’ve sweat with Bikram. (Interestingly enough both Yee and Bikram have been accused of sexual misconduct). I’ve had acupuncture. acupressure, reiki, Jin shin jyutsu, I have a mantra from the same guru as Elizabeth
Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame.

So I’ve tried all kinds of things to get my life in order to manage anxiety anger health matters of the heart but I’ve never seen/consulted with anyone (other than my doctors) regarding matters of my vagina There’s a first time for everything!! I was excited and nervous and anxious that she would immediately notice my repressed and “in recovery Catholic girl” sexual energy or in my case, lack of sexual energy. This should be interesting to say the least,

Tatiana, the Love Gypsy, walked through the door of her studio. She is beautiful with a mane of wild black hair.  She resembles a young Penelope Cruz or Salma Hayek (see photo above). She exudes sexuality and feminine energy.  It seeps from every pore of her lovely body.  Although quite a bit shorter than myself, I immediately felt intimated by this beauty until she spoke.  She was kind and friendly and put me at ease all at once.  I knew I was in the right place and she could help.

Tatiana believes that every women, at any age, has the capacity to embody her femininity and awaken her sexual power.  She believes women deserve to feel confident, loved, and comfortable in her sexuality.  She leads women through a journey of self discovery and healing where you will learn how to active your inner goddess within.  You will learn how to connect deeply to your body and feel empowered with your sexuality.  She promises, if you truly desire to open yourself up to life, you have to be open to deeper levels of connection, intimacy and consciousness in yourself.

Tatiana’s workshops and classes are designed specifically to awaken you gradually and effortlessly.  The sensual awakening series combines dance movement with tantra yoga, pelvic floor techniques, breath-work, and gentle touch.  These sessions are designed to open and activate the energy center’s in the body.  Tatiana will teach you how to activate and direct your own sexual energy, so you can create and manifest your desires into reality.  Her workshops will allow you to develop a deep connection with yourself so you can become integrated emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  You will not only experience a deep connection with your own self but you will then be able to deeply connect with others. When your creative sexual energy has been ignited, you will feel new energy sensations flowing through you.  The more you practice these techniques, the faster you will find your energy becoming integrated and aligned.

I was ready to begin my journey. Come join me!

Tatiana Dellepiane

http://www.sensualawakeningmovement.com

thelovegypsy@facebook.com

thelovegypsy(Twitter)

thelovegypsy(Instagram)

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String

 

Hot Dogs on the GrillSo I followed the advice of my gynecologist (if you missed my post about him here’s the link http://worldssmallestvagina.com/2015/10/22/the-d-word/) I ordered both a dildo and a bottle of lube.

My parcel arrived! With a mix of excitement and anxiety I stared at the box and realized excitedly that the contents could be a game changer for me. Yet at the same time I was scared.  A working vagina would mean I was ready for sex again. Ready for sex again would men dating. Dating would mean I was ready to attempt to have a relationship. Relationships scared me. After a very ugly divorce and a very painful on-and-off boyfriend situation I was afraid. My heart could only take so much. I was brave in every other area of my life. Love was frightening.

Charm_f110x147_1421201154I opened the card board box that said CHARM 1 Dildo and had a graphic of the purple, hook shaped device on it. I looked it over and flexed it back and forth. It reminded me of a purple uncooked hot dog. Thinking of it as food made it seem a little friendlier. With visions of B-B-Qs and picnics I read the package: “Charm’s extended length offers extra inches for those who prefer a longer reach. Made from 100% recycled silicone. (I couldnt help woder what had been recylced to make this object I was planning on inserting into my very clean vagina). The thick oval-shaped base makes Charm compatible with a variety of harnesses” Huh??!!! Harness-compatible base? Oh, dear… what was I getting into here. ID-Glide-Lube-Water-Based-645oz_grandeUgh. Why couldn’t I just be “normal”?  I wish I smoked pot. Instead I poured myself a glass of wine and stared at my first dildo.

I put “Charm” aside and took out the bottle of personal lubricant. The bottle was larger than any shampoo or conditioner shampoo I had ever purchased. Is was more like the size of a bottle of bleach. It was time to do this! I put on CNN. I quickly learned that as much as I liked Anderson Cooper he wasn’t helpful. I turned him off and tried to turn myself on but even with a handfull of lube the pain was still there. It felt like I was trying to jam a hot dog into a key hole.

I tried again the next night after a bubble bath and a glass of wine. This time I put John Legend on my iPod. John sure beat Anderson in the sex appeal department but the pain remained. The task of trying to stretch out a menopausal atrophied vag (ryhmes with Madge as in Madonna) was more time consuming and annoying then going to the gym, doing the dishes by hand, or racking leaves.DSC_0480 I tried to be consistent. I wished Sex in the City was still on and one of the girls was struggling with menopause. Or maybe The View could have an segment, or Steve Harvey. Meredith Viera, or Dr..Oz. Better yet Martha Stewart. She was great with step-by-step directions, was the right age and was very confident but alas I was on my own. It made me angry that there wasn’t a service, like a phsyical therapist, but with an expertise in stretching.  Maybe Gwyneth Paltrow would know someone. She has experts for everything! When I realized how weird that would be I felt hopeless. I felt very alone and was convinced my sex life was over.  I was done. And then wouldn’t you know, the next day I met a handsome surgeon from one of the best cancer hospitals in the world. We hit it off. As soon as I got home from the date I dug out “Charm”. With my eye on the prize, the hunky oncologist, I could do this! Fantasizing about Dr. Hotness did nothing for the pain, it was the same. I was convinced I had not stretched anything.  It was time to step up my game.