New Year Resolution

happy-new-year-2015New Years for many often begin with resolutions. When I started my blog on April 24th 2015. I had a few resolutions of my own:

tumblr_nto9j5ZKi01qg132eo1_540I promised to chronicle my adventures and figure out my sad, little dating situation out.  I’ve talked with nutritionists, doctors, sex therapists, natural practitioners, along with some wonderful women Alba, the Bra Expert from the Town Shop, Tatiana, caught up with Nelsie and Marilyn, my former writing instructors, Janis and Carly Spindel, AKA the dynamic duo of Matchmaking and met many new men. I am proud to say I’ve been to the gynecologist to deal with my “situation” down under. I’ve been writing – not quite as much as I would like – but I did manage to post 44 blog entires. I spent time in both LA and NY, Miami and the Caymans, Boston, Nashville, Montreal, New Haven and the Hamptons. I’m on Twitter and Facebook sharing my stories. And did I mention, I’m dating A LOT!!! All and all, not so bad.

My resolution for 2016 will be as follows:Couples-holding-hands-1
Stay in the present more. Don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Live in the now.
I will try to do more yoga (when the weather got chilly in 2015 I stopped.)
Travel more! Hopefully, I’ll get out to one of my friend’s Dude Ranch, I have a trip planned to Mexico and back to sexy Havana. I’m missing Europe. Perhaps I’l get back to Paris and London with a quick trip to the south of France – one of my favorite places in the world – and maybe somewhere new and exotic, too.
I’d like to read more and blog more and find a literary agent to sell my book. And just maybe, I’ll fall in love. Is that too much to ask???!!!
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 I hope by sharing my story I hope I’ve inspired you, made you laugh, think, and maybe taught you a thing or two. Hopefully, continuing to share my story in 2016 I will encourage other women to keep on using their vaginas or to get back on the horse along with me. Remember, if you don’t use it, you lose it and that would be terrible. Trust me. I wish you all a wonderful 2016! Giddy up!
Love,
Tiny

Love or Material?

8589130436533-hands-making-a-heart-in-the-sunset-wallpaper-hdI was talking to a close friend the other day when she mentioned my blog. She said she found it “rather amusing” and “mostly funny” but it was clear she was holding something back. As a newish blogger I really wanted to know what she was withholding so I pushed her to tell me. Turns out she wasn’t pleased with two particular posts – Robert Redford Not and No Offense Patty. She didn’t have to tell me why. I knew immediately what had annoyed her – I could almost hear the words from my recent posts in my head,

Suddenly Robert Redford wasn’t quite as hot. He certainly was not the 5′-11″ he promised in his profile. Now, generally speaking I have no problem with men shorter than myself. In this particular case I am ashamed to say I had this man, based on his photo, profile and pedigree, on a pedestal.

Was that SO bad? Was I being awful? Rude? Mean spirited? And then I thought about the second post. I cringed when I thought of my slightly chubby friend reading the snarky Patty piece. Truth be told, when I was writing the words I knew I was being harsh – maybe even mean.

You should know that most of us don’t want to envision Patty and her husband in bed in that ugly suburban cape in a bed far too small for the two large bodies (yes, I have decided Patty’s husband is also very overweight because he hasn’t been having sex with Patty he’s been frustrated and drinking Pabst by the six-pack and eating processed food including hot dogs, Wonder Bread and Cheese Whiz). And if I’m mistaken and Patty’s husband isn’t overweight (or addicted to crap) he’s probably been hanging out getting lap dances in the local strip club. I’ve got news for you, in either case, he’s most likely not interested in Patty and hasn’t been in a long, long time. There are going to be a lot of lonely women with hopes of rekindling a romance that burned out long ago because of your commercial. I think Heidi Fleiss needs to get her ass in gear and open that Stud Farm she’s been promising to in Vegas. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m judgmental (I am) I just feels like you’re setting up a lot of women for a huge disappointment.

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As I tried to explain to my friend that I was still trying to find the balance in my writing I realized I sounded as If I was making excuses. I knew I hurt her personally when she read the No Offense Patty post. I wanted to disappear I felt so bad. That’s precisely when she asked, “So are you dating to find love or to collect material?” Ouch. Which was it? I said goodbye to my friend and walked home thinking about her question the entire time. Why was I going on these dates? Was I really ready to be in a loving relationship? Or was she right, was I just going through the motions to get good material? No, I wasn’t. If I wanted really good material I would go out with the twenty year olds, or the eighty year olds, or the guys with motorcycles, or four ex wives. I reminded myself that I was simply highly selective. On the other hand, maybe she was right, sometimes it was about the material.

Naturally, as a writer, I try to push my stories a little further to make them more interesting for you, my readers. If I wrote all about the perfectly lovely dates I go on and how every gentleman was so wonderful would my blog be as much fun? I think not. I tried to defend myself. I told her to keep in mind, I’m a relatively new writer. I’ve had two great and very funny writing teachers – Nelsie Spencer and Marilyn Horowitz. Both women were instrumental in helping me make my writing not only better but funnier but alas, I’ve still got a long way to go! When I have time I plan to sign up for Nelsie’s Comedy Writing class at Gotham Writer’s in NYC. Nelsie has had a radio show and even done stand up. I know there is a fine line between funny and mean. Hopefully she can help me learn the difference.

6439973223_d1df2947fbNelsie, my fomer writing coach, is appearing at Stand Up New York on December 30th. Catch her 800 funny bits about being an empty-nester, sex over 50, and how to still be married after 30 years. Email Nelsie at nelsiespencer@yahoo.com to get on the list! Stand Up New York is located at 238 West 78th Street near Broadway. Showtime is 8PM-10PM. Seating begins at 7PM sharp.