The Return of the Grin Fucker

bad_dayLet’s go back nearly a year to one of the worst dates of my life. No wait, change that, THE WORST DATE OF MY LIFE. EVER. Read about it here so you have a little background. This guy was one sick fuck and I if you read my blog, you know I NEVER speak like that. So I’ll catch you up to speed – I’m minding my own business when I receive an email from a match.com gentleman (I use that word loosely). I immediately recognized his user name as this was his third attempt to see me. After our disastrous brunch date he actually had the nerve to ask me for a second date! When he did I was VERY CLEAR about why I would not date him yet this is the message I got from him today:

He said…

Hi, So, here are some things I think you might want to know about me….. I’m 6′-3″, slim/athletic and all my pics were taken in the last 12 months. I grew up in England. Moved to New York 20 years ago. I live on the Upper East Side and my office is in midtown Manhattan. I travel a lot….especially to Europe. I particularly adore Italy, skiing in Austria and the beaches of the Bahamas and the Caribbean….especially Barbados. I have two great kids, both just graduated from college. I’m fit, masculine, sporty, self-confident and witty. Hopefully I told you all the important stuff…….but I’m a guy……so how would I ever know what women really, really want to hear? -M

So does this jackass forget we had a date OR does he think I’m so forgetful that I wouldn’t remember him – a snobby, six foot three giant Brit on a bike?Mr-One-Percent-Riding-Through-the-City--94137

I said…

Hi, So, here are some things about YOU that you might want to know….. We met some time ago. I know you grew up in England and moved to New York 20 years ago. You told me that over a horrible brunch as you told me many other things such as you have two great kids, both just graduated from college – one the “fuck up” and the other the “grin fucker”. How could I EVER forget a father that speaks that way about his children. You most certainly told ME all the important stuff in that awful meeting. So now you know what this woman really, really thinks.

I cleverly used his own format to respond.

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He said…

Sounds like I was having a bad day, so you should give me a chance to show you what a kind and loving man I really am. OK? -M

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I have to say, as much as I can’t stand this angry and miserable excuse of a man, I’m almost tempted to go out with him to see how he would behave. It’s that same sort of obsession of have with that crazy bastard Donald Trump. Like a train wreck waiting to happen, for the mere entertainment value. Decisions, decisions…

 

Big Wig

trumphair27n-6-webI peered into the large glass front restaurant and knew it was him. He stood there, posed, one leg up on the bottom rung of the bar stool, looking confidently toward the front door. Even from twenty yards away I could tell something was off. What was going on with his hair? I approached suspiciously. He caught my eye and immediately turned on his heels kissing me on both cheeks. He was very animated and his skin tight and bright – heathy eating or Dermabrasion, I wondered. As he chatted away asking what I’d like to drink my eyes went back to his hair – full and dark brown – not a gray hair in site and no variation in color, a thick helmet of hair. Surely it was a wig. Not just a wig but one of the worst wigs I’ve seen in my life. I was angry with myself for being disappointed. What if he had been ill? Surely, I could forgive a wig.toupees64002

As my date downed two ice teas and I sipped half a bottle of San Pellegrino I looked past the wig and focused instead on his crepe-y skin. It was not the skin of a man my age let alone someone a few years younger as he had mentioned. I immediately wondered if he had lied on his dating profile. Pink flag. Hair and age could not be vetted on the telephone. I told myself to see if I liked the guy and then worry about the wig and the fib about his age.

The most interesting part of the date was when he mentioned that he was working with a woman, I’ll call Sandra, I had met decades before. And a woman who I knew had been a high-priced call girl/madam for New York’s elite. These were women who wore only Chanel, Armani and Balenciaga. Their designer handbags only carried a lipstick and a hundred dollar bill which naturally they couldnever break. They dripped in jewelry and tended to travel by chauffered cars way before Uber, Gett and Lyft. Sandra was now a legitimate business owner and living at one of the most prestigious buildings in the city. When I asked how they had met, my date said he knew her a good twenty-five years after that he suddenly became very evasive. Another flag.toupee

Wig or not, I knew that my date wasn’t for me. I looked at my watch and said I had to run. My date seemed disappointed I was skipping out so soon. I kissed both his cheeks and was on my way.

Three days later while on my personal Facebook page a “Friend Suggestion” popped up. I examined the familiar photo. It was my date with the wig! The really surprising thing was his name appeared as Dominic Christiano not Dominic Black. I thought back to our initial phone conversation where he dropped his last name. Something about the way he fit it into the conversation didn’t feel natural. So when I hung up, I did something I normally would not do, I Googled him. I couldn’t find one person with his full name – and oh, yes. I spelled it every which way. In today’s world this was a dark pink flag.

bad_toupeeI left Facebook and googled Dominic Christiano and up popped an awful lot of information about my date! He was actually 17 years older than he had told me! Yes, 17. One – Seven! And they say women take off a year or two! Surely he had had a facelift! That was just the tip of the iceberg. There was also an $70 million-plus judgment against Bad Wig for falsely marketing and devising an “elaborate hoax” for hair-growth products! Initially, I found that extremely funny considering the awful toupee until  I began to realize how many people he had deceived. This guy had lived the life of Riley while hair challenged people had spent thousands of dollars hoping for some hair miracle.

Ladies, and gentlemen, trust your gut and do your research before you get involved. A pink flag will likely become a field of red flags. You surely don’t want to be dating a criminal with or without a wig.

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Ciao Bello

AMALFI0815-wineSo I had my date with the handsome foreigner. I loved the club. It was all that I was expecting as far as decor and vibe. A friendlier, more colorful SOHO House. I felt like I was in a cool friends living room at a holiday party.I checked in at the front desk and the hostess was as gorgeous as I knew she would be. My date was a few minutes late but I was made to feel very welcome in the meantime. I watched as he entered the room. I was sitting across the room. He was handsome in a manly way but on the shorter side. (If I sound like I have a problem with short men, I don’t. I have dated many men under 5′-10″ and had long-term relationships with three of them. I just don’t like when people misrepresent things like height and weight. I plan my show accordingly and I’d honestly rather be in a flat or a low heel than stilettos. images-1Flag #1. Ok I get it – men tend to fib/lie about this and women often take a few pounds or years off. Move on and be positive! So what, he was charming, considerate, wearing good nothing, absolutely smart and well-traveled. Things were looking up.

I have no interest in talking about myself since I know everything there is to know about me biographically so I like to listen. Give a man enough rope and they will hang themselves is my motto. I learned of his discomfort as a student at the Sorbonne, his wife and their messy divorce “She thought I had millions more buried somewhere”, not much about his children (usually a sign that there’s a problem or relationship issues). As he blabbed I paid attention. I think thats the most important thing to do on a date – listen and learn! He then spoke of the Zimbabwe model he dated and then came the story of his second marriage. Yet another flag. They were only married “so she would be covered under my medical coverage”. She had “some health issues” which he didn’t go into detail. Nice guy or another red flag? Then he talked about his living circumstances from renting a floor in a run down brownstone in Brooklyn to his subletting a small apartment not in a very desirable area from a colleague. Oh and he brought up money and expenses too often. He never really was clear about his emotional hibernation but he was certainly painting a picture with ups and downs. I like steady and even keeled. Hmmm… Pleasant, polite, considerate but a small cloud was over his head. Would I go on a second date? Maybe I was being too harsh. I could have dinner and see what I thought. We finished up and he helped me with my coat. I heard him mumbled something about the quality of my Max Mara cashmere coat. I ignored it.mood06_ai10_101801-gall

My date gratuitously walked me to a lounge where I was meeting a friend. He gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. Yeah, maybe I would go on a second date. By the time I ordered a drink I had a new message on one of my email accounts. Mind you this is an email account I only use for business – not general business, specifically writing. It is not connected to this blog or anything else. I clicked on the link:

A Promise Kept:
Even if you never saw me again, I would be remiss if I didn’t share the experience of dining at Lo Scoglio in the small town of Nerano.  That’s a seaside village near Sorrento and Capri.  You enter it by boat.  It’s on the coast.  Food is magical and one of the most memorable dining experiences I’ve ever had.  You are literally on the sea itself and the food is amazing.  It’s part of a hotel.
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There are two restaurants in the village:  one is a Michelin-starred restaurant where all of the tourists go.  All of the Italians go to Lo Scoglio.  It’s run by a wonderful family (the dog is all over the place) and it’s just wonderful. We tried several dishes, all of which were superb, nothing over-embellished, just simple food made from the best ingredients, cooked really well.  Definitely a place to go with a special person. Ciao bella!
How did he get my email address? Why was he sending restaurant recommendations for the Italian Riviera? I spend more time in Fra4456.Capri-ferrynce, I’m not particularly fond of Italian food and I never expressed any interest in Italy or asked for his advice. I was weirded out. By the time I got home I had a text message and then another and then a phone call from him. So here we have it, expectation to disappointment in less time then the ferry from Sorrento to Capri.
UPDATE: The day after my blog pieces Looking Forward/ Looking Forward 2 posted I received this message from my date – Happy New Year. I hope you weren’t totally freaked out by our meeting at Norwood and had a good time in the Caribbean. I was amused at your characterisation of the build-up to the date, as I had given details of Norwood to assist, certainly not to patronise. If it came across as viewing you as “stupid”, I apologise. And I do prefer “age appropriate women” (my profile actually is 40-55, not 30*, which would be kind of creepy, I agree). Anyway, at least I wasn’t as bad as the cheapskate date, (although perhaps you were indulging in some artistic license there as well?:D )
I never gave him my blog’s name.
*This was an outright lie.

Valentine’s Day Break Up

white-roses-flowers-25785316-600-375It was our second date. We were siting at the bar in a rather nice restaurant on the water. An older woman came in selling roses. My date stopped her and said he wanted to buy some roses for me. She looked over to me and as142596-143862ked, “Red or White?”

“White, definitely white. I hate red roses.”

“What woman hates red roses?” asked my date.

“Me. I can’t stand them, never could. Long stem red roses are the absolute worst.” My date looked at me as though I were insane and then bought me every white bloom in her basket and handed them to me.

“I still dont understand why you don’t like red roses…”

So I told him the list; they are so typical they are cliché, I don’t like tight buds, I can’t stand long stem roses or the contrived and standard arrangements with baby breath, I’m not fond of the color red, when they dry out the color reminds me of dried blood (I didn’t mention that dried blood makes me think of menstruation and injuries – both painful). I prefer other colors. PERIOD.50_roses

We continued to date. On my birthday I received several flower deliveries, one of which was a huge floral arrangement of long stem red roses with a single white rose in the middle. The card said Happy Birthday. Nothing more. No signature. I had no idea who they were from. At six that night I heard from the guy (I guess I could refer to him as my boyfriend but I never really did) I was seeing. We had plans to have dinner so I figured he was telling me he was running early or late or some such thing.

 

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I’m seeing you in a few hours. Why would I call you.”

“To say you got the flowers.”

372_50-Red-and-white-roses-in-glass-vase-MRP-1500_products_large.jpg~c200“Oh, they were from you?” I said almost as a question.

“Of course they were from me.” He sounded annoyed with me.

“I had no idea who they were from. You didn’t sign the card.” What I wanted to say was, I told you on our first date I can’t stand red roses – especially long stem red roses!

“Who else would send you two dozen red roses?”

Christmas came and so did the same flowers. The same arrangement of long stem red roses with a single white rose in the center.

We had our first fight. The next day the long stem red rose arrangement arrived with the single white rose in the center. My girlfriends thought there must be something symbolic here about his love – like yellow roses are for friendship, red for love, white for purity. It must mean our love is pure they said wistfully. Oy, I hate that shit.

And then we celebrated our first Valentine’s Day together. He picked me up in his sports car. As I got in I could see the long white box in the back of the car. More roses – red with a single one no doubt. I was fuming. When he parked the car at the restaurant he leaned over and handed me the box with a stupid grin on his face.

“Happy Valentines Day. I got these for you.”

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I looked at him and said,

“Thank you but you should know I cannot stand red roses. I told you that on our first date. It should have been obvious the first time you sent them to me. and then you sent them again and again and again. I’d honestly rather have nothing.”

He grabbed the box back from me, got out of the car, and handed them to the next woman who walked past. I heard him say to the stunned woman,

“Miss, Happy Valentines Day. Apparently my girlfriend doesn’t like long stem red roses. She’d like you to have these.”dead-roses

I had a good chuckle. However, he was not amused.

 

I broke up with him after dinner. Not because he gave my roses away – I had given every long stem arrangement he had ever given me away – to my housekeeper,  to the doorman for his wife,  to my neighbor and my mother. I broke up with him because he had no idea who I was.

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Put One Foot In Front of the Other

images-3Disappointment can be hard. Affairs of the heart can be particulary tough. Especially if you’re dating actively and it’s one disappointment after the next. In 2015 I had 106 dates. In 2016 I’ve already had eleven dates and it’s only February 2nd! (Full disclosure: of the eleven dates I have only had a second date with two – often my choice but sometimes not). Although each of the men I met were kind, interesting and polite, none of them were right for me. I found it discouraging to say the least. As much as I’d rather stay home and write, cook, paint or scroll around of Ebay, I decided it was a new year and a new me. I was not going to let a bad date, a bunch of average guys or a stalker (story coming soon) get me down. That’s when I met Peter.

images-4Peter lives in a tiny seaside community. He is in the fashion business. After a very high-profile and public divorce, he is very much single and alone -kids off at college and he doesnt even have a dog. Peter is clearly a man who likes to be part of a couple. We hit it off the first time we spoke on the phone. He’s a super interesting guy who has lived a bigger life than most of the men I’ve date this year combined. He was fun, comfortable, a breath of fresh air. Maybe sailing and walks on the beach have seeped into his pores. I hope I don’t sound like an overly optomistic woman (becuse I’m not!) but I have a feeling that he could be a great match for me. I certainly don’t want to be likehamptons2_1367233c a friend of mine who is constantly sure each and every man she dates is the perfect man for her. From overweight guys with mommy issues, to alcoholic attorneys to the guy with the lingerie fetish, I never saw anyone with her commitment to dating and her sunny disposition with each new guy. By the time the relationships were over, some in a matter of days and others in weeks or months, they were all asshole, scum or rotten bastards. There was never any grey or uncertainlty for her – it was all or nothing. Part of me feels like some of her is wearing off on me. Maybe if you’ve been in the dating game this long, and late in life, you need to trick your brain into believing the next man could be your next love or god forbid, your soul mate.

I’ve decided not to think about it too much. Enough analyzing myself, Just go out for god’s sake and give it your best shot. I hope I will have a good dating story for you soon. Keep on truckin’!

 

Black Tie

blacktiecouplelgee1377748335569I used to love going to black tie events. A new dress, seeing my hairstylist, getting all spiffed up from top to toe. I no longer care. The meals are often horrible or cold. I have to be nice. I have to spend gobs of money if I want to do it right. And I’m always cold. Yeah, that’s an issue these days and so are shoes. Where some women are lucky enough to get hot flashes, I’ve always been freezing. I can’t go anywhere (eBlack-Tie-1ven in August in Southern California) without a cashmere sweater or a wrap. That’s one of the reasons I prefer Europe in the summer – so many places don’t have and the ones with climatisation is nowhere near as effective as in America for some reason.

So today I received an invitation from a man I had just one date with to a black tie gala event. He said it would be “right up your alley.  Think fun, fashion, creative types and lots of gay guys.”

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Dresses by Andrea Pitter of Pantora http://www.pantorabridal.com

It’s a fundraiser for HIV/AIDS – one of the bigger ones this season. I was tempted but I already was going to the Geoffrey Beene event on Tuesday. Two in one week? I could wear the same get up although there might be some cross over of guests. Did I care?

Maybe my hair and nails would hold out? It kind of sounded like a nice gala with a fashion show AND a trunk sale. Visions of my first date with my ex husband. October NYC Plaza Hotel – the first time I laid eyes on a very young Naomi Campbell. Focus! Do you want to go or not? Ugh, it’s just too much work!

Looking Forward 2

iphone-phone-social-media-taxi-car-handbag-stocksy-w352My iPhone pinged. It was an email from my date tonight:

I’ll be waiting for you in the bar on the ground floor. When you get to the front desk, just tell them you’re with me (remember, it’s “X”, just in case you confuse me with your countless other Match dates/admirers/fans 🙂 Look forward to seeing you at 6:00pm! It’s a townhouse right next to the construction at “Y”, which is that new apartment complex. – X

I responded: I’ll write it on my hand so I don’t forget. I promise not to blow your cover. ; ) I’m quite confident I’ll be able to find the address but thanks for your help.

His reply: Love your sense of humour. BTW, cell # is 303-555-1212 in case there’s a problem. You can keep your’s a state secret until we meet and you discover that I’m not a weird stalker.

I wasn’t trying to be funny. I was annoyed. Did he think I would fuck up? Get lost? Tell the (I’m certain) gorgeous hostess that I was on a Match.com date? In a flash, I was nervous and my stomach did flip-flops. I remembered that I never had the preliminary phone call that I do with 99% of my Match.com admirers. I find this is an important step – you can learn a lot in a few minutes i.e.. nervousness, stuttering, boring, neurotics, low energy level (think Jeb Bush!), poor education, and lack of mutual interests among other things. Why didn’t I have the mandatory phone call?! Grr….I went back to read his online profile. I immediately saw a few flags I may have missed the first time because I found him handsome, intelligent, and his note so charming:2014-08-24-Redflag

“Ex-wife and sons live in another country, and ready to get out and enjoy my life again after a few years of emotional hibernation…..The truth is that I’ve always been attracted to self-confident, attractive intelligent women and I’m probably more inclined to go with someone closer to my own age, certainly someone who is closer in age to me than my two sons!. A little further down I saw a few more flags:

louis-vuitton-luggageThere are a lot of exceptional women in this city, as I am beginning to learn. I will say that women over a certain age have the charm and elegance of a great French premier cru wine, and as any wine aficionado can attest, when you’ve sampled a superbly complex older vintage, it’s very hard to go back to younger, less mature stuff.. A Portuguese vinho verde might be temporarily refreshing, but it doesn’t enliven the senses the way a great Cos D’Estournel can do. Even though I’ve made mistakes in previous relationships (we’re all human after all), I remain optimistic that I can eventually get it right with the partner who can help me unpack my considerable baggage :-).  51001e8d78458s58987

Why does his profile say he’s looking for woman 30-54 and he’s 55. Hmm… 30 doesn’t sound like his age group. If his daughters are in their mid 20s that would make 30 much closer in age to them than to him. A slightly snooty/elitist wine snob who’s coming out of “emotional hibernation with considerable baggage”? Ugh. I wondered what this one has packed away in his designer luggage? Could he simply be talking about his divorce? Something worse? Jail time, perhaps? Another felon? Mental breakdown, maybe? Manic Episode? Depressive episode?

I suddenly wasn’t looking forward to my date… but then again, this is precisely what I do before each date I go on: I try to talk myself out of the guy before I even leave my home! I pray I’m wrong this time.

Looking Forward

10This is the first time in a awhile I can remember actually looking forward to a date. Most first dates feel like a chore to me. I’ve been on an awful (and some were truly AWFUL!) lot of dates. I’m often called The Queen fo First Dates by my friends. It’s no longer fun. I often feel like I’m going on a job interview not hoping to find the love of my life.

LEICESTER, UNITED KINGDOM - MARCH 08: Queen Elizabeth II during her visit to Leicester on March 8, 2012 in Leicester, England. The royal visit to Leicester marks the first date of Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee tour of the UK between March 8 and July 25, 2012. (Photo by Rui Vieira - WPA Pool/Getty Images)

I’m picky – if you’re a frequent reader you know that by now. I’m also a scaredy cat – you may have figured that out, too. So I have two upcoming dates: one is a fix up the second is a Match.com date.

1953: Belgian-born actor Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993) wears a tiara in a headshot still from director William Wyler's film 'Roman Holiday'. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)The Match,com date dude is not American which is a plus for me. I like dating foreign men, they always add something interesting to the conversation and all of the international men I have dated were confident, well-educated and charming. So many American men of a certain age seem to have ED, lack confidence, have a lot of health issues, anxiety and/or depression. Maybe that’s what leads to the ED -the multitude of medications many take can often make matters worse down below.

I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to wear – jeans or cream-colored tailored pants. Should I wear a cozy sweater, a low cut top or a blouse? High heels, flats or boots? Or should I wear a fun dress? Eeeek!

Anyway, I am meeting the first fellow at his gorgeous private club. It’s not a snooty, snobby, fancy pants one that makes you wear a dress, a hat or little white gloves. It’s more of a hipster/artists/creative type international atmosphere from what I’ve heard and read.

My date seems funny and smart and well-traveled, lives in my favorite neighborhood and loves to write. I’m crossing my fingers that he’s a good one. You can bet I’ll let you know if he is!

 

 

Christmas Cheapskate

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On our first date we met in the park. It was a cool day but the sun was shining. We sat on a bench and easily connected. He thought I was so cool when a squirrel ran across my lap and I didn’t flinch. I found him funny with a tinge of quite shyness at times. We had so much fun that we stayed in the park and watched the sun go down. We never even left to grab a bite or a drink – his company was enough to fill me up!

We made plans to go to the movies later that week. When I got to the theater he had the tickets in his hand. I had planned to offer to pay but he beat me to it. He whisked me past the concessions stand so fast I never even had a chance to offer to buy him a snack or a drink. When I mentioned this he said, “I’m not hungry.” I found that slightly odd – who doesn’t like a drink or popcorn at the movies?

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When the lights dimmed and the movie began I could hear his hand rustling around in his jacket pocket. A few minutes later I heard him chewing something crunchy like nuts. I was convinced he had snacks and he wasn’t sharing! Now, if you’ve read my blog before you know I am VERY judgmental (I admit that) about my dates. I liked this guy, I really did. We connected intellectually and physically he was exactly my type. I told myself I must be crazy. When the movie was over we stood on the corner. He asked, “What are you going to do now?” Normally when a man invites me to the movies, they invite you to eat after. So I said, “Well, it’s dinner time so I guess I’ll pick something up to eat.” He hugged me goodnight.

A few days before Christmas, he mentioned he would be in my neighborhood on his bike ride. He called from his cell to say he would be there momentarily. I asked if he wanted to come up to my apartment but he said he was sweaty and knew I had to pack for my trip home. A little sad he wasn’t coming up, I grabbed the Christmas gift I had for him. (I like to give small gifts at the holidays especially if someone is a reader. One of my favorites is Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris and the other, Truman Capote’s classic A Christmas Memory.) As I turned the corner I saw him cycling up the block. We chatted on the corner for a few minutes. Before he left I handed him the beautifully wrapped book. “I have a gift for you at home. I’ll bring it the next time I see you!” he said. 757211a_origI thought, how sweet he got me a gift, too.

I met him the week after Christmas at his Ivy League club. “Ugh. I forgot your gift.” We hung out on the lobby sofa talking. Now I’ve been to his club many times in the past (I get around). I knew where the bar and the restaurant were located. He never asked if I wanted to go up for a drink. I was noticing a pattern here. Jimbo liked inexpensive and/or FREE dates AND he never even tried to kiss my lips. The more I got to know Jimbo the weirder he was.

I gave him one last chance when he invited me for dinner at an authentic Japanese noodle bar. After an obscene amount of time waiting for a table we ordered. “Would you like anything from the bar?”, asked the waiter. I was hot as hell from standing for nearly an hour in a warm and crowded restaurant vestibule in my coat. “I’d love a beer!” Jimbo said, “They’re really large here. We can share it.” Who shares a beer on date? I was beginning to really see what was happening here. This guy was a cheap skate!

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I was disgusted. I do not like cheap people. From my experiences I have found a correlation between cheap/tight people and their ability to love. This was definitely not the kind of person I wanted to hang around with. I didn’t even want him as a friend. We finished eating and he paid the bill in cash. It could not have cost more than $40.00. I put on my coat when the server whizzed past to speak to Jimbo. “Thank you for the VERY generous tip, Sir.” He smiled broadly. I wanted to kick myself in the ass for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Jimbo wasn’t a cheap skate, I was an idiot! Jim opened his mouth to speak. I expected him to say you’re welcome. Instead he said, “Oh, I was waiting for my change.” He was a cheap bastard! And by the way, he never brought my Christmas gift that time either.

Moral of the story: It’s Christmas, don’t be cheap. If you’re interested in someone let them know. You don’t have to buy anything pricey or organize anything elaborate. Keep it simple. Keep it classy. A gift is always a kind and thoughtful gesture – even a beautiful little book.

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Beware of Felons

I opened my email: Enjoyed reading your profile. I too am allergic to cats 🙂 Have a nice weekend and Holiday Season. – Bill

Before I responded I read his profile:

I am a very fit, educated and well travelled 48 year old man, who has lived an extraordinary life, but who has also made mistakes and is now starting over. From these mistakes and the resulting consequences, I have learned humility and am thankful for the opportunity to reinvent myself. Daily, I have to be the best man I can be in every aspect of my life, especially in a future relationship. I look forward to getting to know a special woman, with whom there will be love, friendship, trust, laughter, fun and special moments to share; a very special woman who will take a “leap of faith” and look to the future and its potential. To start, a coffee would be nice. Thank you for reading my profile. I wish you joy.

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Wow! What an odd profile. I typed:

“From these mistakes and the resulting consequences” – Wow, what did you do?

He typed back: BTW, you have a great smile 🙂

It figures, no response to my question. My computer chimed again. There was another message from him:

While trying to save my 25 year export management company during the financial crisis, I made a poor choice and consequently was convicted of a white collar felony, spending 21 months in federal prison. I am now a 48 year old man restarting his life, grateful for this second chance. From the day I started my sentence (returned home in Aug. 2014) and everyday since, I work on being the best man I can be intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Now you know. I wish you a peaceful weekend. – Billo-BEHIND-BARS-FOR-BEING-POOR-facebook

I replied: That makes sense. I figured it was something like that. You are very brave to share that straight off. Most people do not reveal themselves like that even in person – certainly not on the internet! Best of luck to you.

His reply: Thank you. I appreciate your responding. You are obviously a woman of substance with a kind soul; beautiful inside and out. I wish you joy. -Bill

Dating is hard enough. I certainly don’t want to date a felon. Especially an out of town felon. That’s just too much to deal with!